ON WINS (EPIC)

Things to do with your Sunday:

• Lie in.
• Have a fry up.
• Go to church.
• Take the dog for a walk.
• Get up at the crack of dawn, traverse public transport into the nation’s capital, don a balaclava and have it out with a gargantuan, globe-engulfing confidence scam.

Can you guess what I did?

Yes ladies and gents, I am fairly proud to ally myself with the ranks of the so called “cyber terrorist” organisation known as Anonymous. If you had asked me about them a couple of months ago, I’d have most likely said they were a bunch of childish internet script kiddies and pranksters who don’t get out nearly enough, and possessing a very low threshold regarding what constitutes as humourous. And I’d have been right, for the most part.

Then, all of a sudden, this happened: http://www.dailymotion.com/SA-Anonymous/video/7313668

Protests against Scientology: perhaps one of the more insidious brands of unreason sent to plague the intelligent people of this world with their unique variety of batshit insanity that is actually taken seriously by glamour hounding thickies fresh off their last “mind expanding” hit of window cleaner in the eyeball.

But the opposition amongst the informed internet community began to spread like wildfire, with groups forming initially in isolation of each other before uniting as a whole, anarchic framework. It’s a brilliant example of the memetic phenomenon known as Second Order Simulacra (or to the terminally nerdy as a Stand Alone Complex).

So when a large popular movement that overtly opposed idiocy came to my attention, I was already on the bandwagon and trundling down the road with a banjo in my hand before I had quite woken up. And it felt good.

Now, all of us were in attendance for different reasons, but shared a common distaste for all that Xenu nonsense, and that was good enough for me. The Anonymous mandate stated that they in opposition to the church’s exploitation, not freedom of religion. It’s honourable enough, and worthy of support, but I must admit it’s not where I was coming from. The group stood (and still stands) a real chance at demolishing the church’s credibility, and by extension the organisation as a whole. That suits me fine.

Especially as I see no real difference between scientologist bullshit and any other religious bullshit. Scientology is weak simply due to the fact that is doesn’t have history or tradition on it’s side. Xenu is as real as Yaweh. Bring down scientology and philosophically, there’s no reason that the rest can’t be brought down too, given the thought processes that prime these actions logically lead to deconstruction of religion as a whole.

So more power to us. I’ll be out there bashing Hubbard again on his birthday, and once he’s down, it’s time to kick God in the goolies, shove Allah up his arse, and inform Jesus of what a jerk he is before jamming his Johnson into a jar of jalepenos.

And everyone loves jalepenos.

I MADE THIS: